#afic: a permanent chase
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littledrummeraussie · 1 year ago
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tell me all the things that you couldn't before.
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warnings: brief mentions of sex. a nightmare. hurt/comfort. lots of loving for Ashton. badboy!mechanic!Ashton AU.
word count: 5435
author’s note: This fic was written back in January, 2020, as part of the infamous A Permanent Chase fic, which I'm not sure will ever see the light of day as it only lives in my head and my heart.
The original concept is the following (to help you understand the fic better):
Ashton (in the beginning appearing as Fletcher) comes back to Sydney, where he starts working at Calum's garage as a mechanic. Shortly after this he meets our girl and starts to pursue her. They do start dating, but after some complications happen, and she finds out Fletcher is not the person he tells people he is, but someone else (Ashton), and she quickly breaks things up between them.
What she doesn't realize is that she and Ashton have met before, just after graduation at a beach party, where they fell in love for a night, but never saw each other again. Ashton does recognize the girl, but she doesn't recognize him for a long time, until finally Ashton does tell her the truth about their past.
The story is a mess - the original idea included gangs and street racing in which Ashton also partakes, lots of chasing after the girl in different places and scenarios, who eventually starts to put together how Ashton really loves her and actually wants to protect her from things happening around the city. (This is a huge reason why I never really worked on the story - I couldn't decide on anything, so it's just a big mess.)
They eventually make up and finally kiss at another beach party (full circle), and decide that they want to start a relationship with each other. There are lot of added stories to them in my mind, all of them following the main story above.
I also realized over the years that in some ways they are kinda toxic, but I cannot help it, I love my babies so much. So if you have any additional questions, please feel free to ask them.
Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!
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It was well past midnight when you realized that there was something out of the ordinary. At first everything seemed to be normal, your night started like any other: you stopped by the garage after work, parking your car just outside the building and greeted the boys who were still working there. You’ve convinced Ashton to finish early, making Calum close up for the night, and dragged your boyfriend up the stairs to his flat.
He was in a really good mood, and with a cheeky grin he pulled you into the shower with himself. His hands were searching and grabbing at whatever body parts they could reach, and after he’d promised you the best fuck of your life, Ashton picked you up to cross the tiny apartment to his bedroom, where he made good on his promise. You were lying in a tangled mass afterwards, watching the last rays of sunshine peeking through the window, painting Sydney in the most beautiful shades of pink, orange and yellow.
You were ready to make some dinner, but Ashton preferred cuddle time, and held you close to his side while he ordered Thai food from one of his favourite places. You spent the time kissing and talking about your day until the guy arrived with your order, and you ate in comfortable silence in the kitchen, playing footsie all through dinner. Usually this was the time when you went out to have fun around town, or just lay on the couch, watching the TV mindlessly, but the last few weeks have been different.
Since you’ve decided to take up some courses to help you with your work, it meant that eventually you needed to take exams on them as well. You had your doubts when you first approached Ash with the idea, but he was supportive, and in his own way, he helped you with your studying and papers. It usually meant buying you coffee or letting you rant about your problems – or ordering food when he thought you could use the extra time. And his apartment was much quieter than your noisy neighbourhood. He did not mind you staying over if it meant cuddles, food sharing and sex – all three of those happened regularly, so he did not complain.
You have already started revising notes when Ashton came up to you and gave a kiss on your neck. You leaned back against his chest, looking up at him with a smile.
“You’re going to bed?”
“Yeah, I promised Calum that I will open in the morning, since someone decided to drag me away early,” he leaned forward to press another kiss on your forehead, his red locks falling over your face. “And I don’t want to keep you away from your notes and books, which are clearly more interesting than your own boyfriend.”
“How tragic,” you laughed, turning around on the kitchen chair to wrap your arms around him. “Please file a complaint, and I will talk to the management.”
“And what will I get as a consolation prize?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.
“Blowjobs.”
“Oh, plural? That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ashton grinned at you, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “When can I start collecting them?”
“You know how offices work – it might take a few weeks to get an answer,” you bit your lip to hide a smile, and Ash just huffed at you.
“If it was up to you, I wouldn’t get my blowjobs for the next 30 days or so,” his fingers found a way into your tied up hair, slowly pulling out strands and combing them back into an even messier bun. “Any way to file a complaint about filing complaints?”
“I might know someone who can help you,” you tilted your head forward, pressing a small kiss on the skin of his stomach, then quickly blew a raspberry on it. “But only during opening hours.”
“You are terrible,” he laughed, grabbing your face and pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your lips. “Alright, I’ll leave you to your notes.”
“Don’t hog the blankets,” you poked his side, and Ash laughed again, pushing your hand away. “Good night, Cardinal.”
“Is that a joke on my hair?”
“You tell me,” you winked at him, and he leaned back to give you another kiss.
“Good night, you monster.”
* * *
You knew something was up when you heard noises from the bedroom. The flat was really small, with no actual doors between the bedroom, the living area and the kitchen, and at first you thought the all-nighters you pulled would bother Ashton and he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the light on in the kitchen. But he was a heavy sleeper, still and calm, and the only thing that ever broke the silence was his light snoring. But not tonight.
The first thing you heard were the rustling sheets, a pillow thumping down onto the floor, the bed creaking under his weight. There was a loud gasp, more rustling, something hitting the nightstand or the bed frame, then another loud thump on the mattress. More gasps, more heavy breathing – you could hear the panic in the way he was trying to catch his breath, choking on air, like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.
You pushed yourself out of the chair, running to the small bedroom to check on Ashton. He was tangled up in the sheets, body twisting around as he tried to kick off the covers, thrashing in his blanket prison. His arms were swinging, trying to grab onto something (or someone), hitting the pillows and the bed with every move. He pushed his head back into the pillow, turning it left and right as he was panting, his Adam’s apple moving almost in a frantic, panicked way.
He was no stranger to nightmares – when he was exhausted or just had a bad day, he would go to bed early, resting his head on your stomach, hugging your body close to him like a pillow, and that usually did the trick. He slept soundly and without interruption. But sometimes he was just so lost in his own head that he forgot about it all, not caring about the dreams sneaking into his sleepy mind, and he usually woke with a start in the middle of the night. He would curl his body around yours, telling you that he’s okay, he just had a bad dream, he will fall back to sleep soon – he only ever asked you to hold his hand during these moments.
But tonight was different, Ashton never had a nightmare like this, one that physically shook him. He was fighting so hard to wake up, but nothing seemed to work. You dropped onto the mattress, climbing closer, and grabbed him by his shoulders, shaking him with all the strength that you had.
“Ashton! Ashton, wake up! Ash! Wake up!”
Suddenly he bolted up, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and taking in a lungful of air, making himself dizzy in the process. You shifted closer, climbing between his legs, and wrapped your arms around his trembling body. You held him close, running your fingers over his back, murmuring soft words into his ear as he buried his face in your neck, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart.
“I’m here, Ash, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
He locked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, never loosening his grip on you. You ran your hand up to his shoulder, lightly massaging his tense muscles, caressing his neck, brushing your fingers over his hair. His skin was cold and sweaty, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His breathing was slowing, and you moved your head to press a small kiss on his temple. He tensed for a second, but then melted into your arms once again.
“It’s alright,” you whispered, still stroking the red locks at the back of his head. “It’s over. It was just a dream, it’s over. I’m here. You’re awake. It’s okay.”
His breath was hot on your neck as he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his face back into your skin. His muscles were slowly relaxing, but he was still tense and sweaty, and a shiver ran through his body. He tried to burrow closer to get more of your warmth, and you let him stay in your arms like this for a few more minutes. When you could feel he was a bit more relaxed, you pulled back a little, lifting his head up to look at you. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and it took him a few seconds to get out of his daze.
Ashton’s gaze skipped over yours, instead focusing on the chain hanging from your neck. The silver ring he gave you almost a year ago was hooked on a thin necklace, the weight of the metal resting between your breasts, a comfort you never knew you needed. You still remembered the time when he wore it on his finger, playing with it whenever he started getting nervous. He called it a good luck charm, something he desperately needed while he was chasing after you. But once he got hold of your heart, he gave it to you – since then it became something much more than just a piece of jewellery. For you: a reminder; for others: a warning.
His clumsy fingers wrapped around the ring, slightly tugging on it. You slowly tilted his head up again, trying to catch his eyes. His hazel ones finally found your gaze, and you gave him a small smile, lightly running your fingers over his stubbly jaw.
“Hey, you’re okay?”
Silence, then a nod.
“How about you go and take a shower? Get warmed up,” you rubbed his arms, trying to warm his still cold skin. “And I will change the sheets.”
Another nod.
Ash let go of your necklace, slowly peeling himself out of the bed, starting to go to the bathroom, then stopped, looked back at you. You gave him another encouraging smile, nodded at him that it’s okay, you both will be fine, after which he finally made his way out of the room. When the lock clicked and the shower started up, you let out a breath you were holding back. A thousand questions were running through your mind, but you didn’t want to take too much time thinking about them. You wanted to make sure Ashton was comfortable after his nightmare, that he can come back and relax into the bed, wrapped in your arms, and sleep off this horrible experience.
You started stripping off the sweat soaked sheets, pulling out a fresh set from the drawer, working methodically in changing them. After that you opened the window, letting in fresh air, the slight breeze clearing away the remaining shadows from the room. You reached into another drawer, choosing a soft pair of sweatpants for Ashton, and finally went to the kitchen, making tea, waiting for him to finish up.
The lock on the bathroom door clicked, and it opened with a slight squeak. Ash stood behind the door, a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping on the tiles from his red hair. You stepped to him, holding the pants out for him. He took them from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours as he did, and that made him look at you.
“I made you tea,” you nodded towards the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. “If you want some.”
“Thanks,” his voice was quiet and small, and he coughed a little to make his throat work. “I– I’ll be there.”
“Take your time.”
You stepped back to the kitchen, piling up your books and notes to shove them to the corner of the table. You knew there was no way you would go back to studying, not tonight. Any exam could wait – Ashton needed you now.
After a few more minutes he emerged from the bathroom, shuffling to the kitchen, and dropped down onto the chair next to you. He sighed deeply, then leaned forward, resting both his arms on the table, and put his head down on them, hiding his face. You watched him, how his back moved as he was breathing in and out. His muscles were still tense, you could see it from the way he was holding himself. You scooted a bit closer, and slowly put your hand on his elbow, a tentative touch. When he did not flinch away, you started to lightly rub his arm, up to his shoulder, down on his back, then back up again.
When you reached the back of his neck, Ash moved his head to the side, looking at you as you stroked his drying locks with your fingers. His hazel eyes were searching you as you were working through the tangled ends, brushing them back from his face. He let out another small sigh when you touched his face, caressing his cheek, which made him nuzzle into your hand.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, resting your hand back on his arm.
Ashton looked at you for another second, then hid his face back in the crook of his elbow. You waited for him, you knew he needed time to work through the thoughts in his head, to decide if he wanted to face them again. He slowly pushed himself up, reaching for the mug in front of him, taking a sip of his cooling tea. His fingers were running over the rim, circling it mindlessly as he focused on something in front of him.
“You… left me.”
There was silence in the kitchen – his words left you speechless. It sounded silly at first; you knew how you felt about him, how first his attention was unusual, almost uncomfortable at times, and that you wished he would give you just an ounce of space; how you started to miss him when he wasn’t around, how you watched over your shoulder if he would appear somehow, stalk behind you, keeping his distance, but never taking his eyes off of you. You knew he had his reasons to do so, and you learned to love him for that – it wasn’t so hard, he found a way to your heart, and you willingly let him in. You never wanted to let go of him ever again.
“I have no intention in doing that,” you reached out to take his hand in yours, squeezing it. “And no reason.”
“But what if you do?” he whispered, pulling his hand away. “What if you find one?”
“Ash… is this something you’ve been… thinking about lately?” you asked softly, your fingers going up to your necklace, running them over the ring.
He did not answer; his eyes were still trained on the same spot as before. He was drumming on the tabletop, the rhythm getting more and more frantic and complicated. You desperately wanted to reach out and stop him, to make him look at you, to let him know you were there, you were listening, that you wanted to understand. But it seemed he was lost in his own thoughts – thoughts that brought out a nightmare that clearly shook him to the core.
“Ashton,” you said in a small voice. “Don’t push me away. Please.”
Those words made him look at you. Those words were his words, begging you to give him another chance, to make up for the mistakes he made when you met again. They were Ashton’s words, not Fletcher’s; they made you stop in your tracks, made you listen to him. They broke you in a way you’ve known you will never be broken again. That was the first time you’ve really let him into your heart, and you never wanted him to leave.
Ash sighed deeply, slowly turning around in his chair to face you, though his head was down. His fingers nervously twitched in his lap, and he started wringing his hands, looking for the rings he usually wore to play with. He once told you that sometimes he felt naked without them, and he liked wearing at least one to mindlessly spin it around, or take it off and put it back on. You moved a little closer, pushing your knees against his, slowing down his bouncing feet. Leaning forward you reached for him, pushing your fingers between his tightly clasped ones, and interlocked them. There was a slight shake to his hands, and you gently ran your thumb over his skin, trying to calm him again.
“I’m sorry,” he finally breathed, slowly looking up at you from under his lashes. “I’m just… unsure.”
“Of me?” you tilted your head to the side, trying to see all of him. He just shook his head.
“Of myself,” Ashton answered, rubbing your hands with his thumbs. “If I’m good enough for you.”
“Of course you are,” you squeezed his fingers in yours, pushing your forehead against his. “You are my Ashton. How could you not be good enough for me?”
“That’s not what everyone else thinks,” he said with a humourless laugh. “People talk, all over town.”
“Some neighbourhood gossip won’t make me leave you,” you shook your head. “What could they tell me that I don’t already know? I know you, Ash, I know who you are.”
“You have the heart of an angel, and I’m the devil who’s holding you back,” he whispered, tilting his head down.
“Maybe I’ve had enough of heaven,” your hand went to his jaw, slowly tipping his chin up to look back at you. “If hell is where you are, then I’m packing all of my bags to be with you.”
“Y/N…”
“Or maybe they have it the wrong way around,” you continued. “Cause you definitely feel like heaven to me. Maybe it’s not their definition of the place. But screw them – my heaven is all tattooed up and gorgeous.”
A blush coloured his cheek, and he moved closer to rest his forehead on your shoulder, his legs bracketing yours. You were tangled up in each other, silently sitting in the kitchen for a few minutes, Ashton’s hand on your thighs while you played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Then he slowly pulled back, rubbing his eyes – was it tears, or sleep, you didn’t know – and looked back at you again.
“Your parents still hate me,” he added, resting his elbow on the table, leaning his head against his hand.
“They hate everyone,” you answered with a shrug. “They even hate me. That’s not an accomplishment.”
“I’m sure they would prefer anyone else over me,” he searched you with his eyes. “Someone who can give you a real future.”
“What do you think, what does a girl need?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, and it was his turn to shrug.
“Financial security?” he asked, and when you rolled your eyes at him, he continued. “Someone like that guy you work with – what’s his name? Liam?”
“A suit and tie?” you shook your head, putting your hands on his knees to lean closer. “Really, Ash? When I can have you, your jackets and chains, and the fire red Mustang? Well, tough luck, because you’re stuck with me for good.”
“But am I enough for you?” Ashton sighed, reaching for you and holding your face in his hands, making you really look at each other. “I wanna give you the world. Hell, I wanna give you the galaxy. The universe. But I’m just this guy, fixing cars and running my mouth at people. And you… you’re smart and beautiful and could get anyone you set your eyes on.”
“And that’s you,” you nuzzled your face against his hand, looking at him pleadingly. “You’re the only one I want.”
“What if Liam asked you on a date? Or one of the guys at that course? What if you get along so much that you realize that you could just… do better than me?” his gaze slipped down to the ring resting against your chest, saying the next words looking at it. “You know I would do anything for you… but I know I can’t keep you forever.”
“Ash, how long have we known each other?” you asked, reaching for him, brushing his hair behind his ear.
“7 or 8 years. Dunno. Why is that important now?” he sighed, shaking his head.
“What do you think… how many guys did I date during that time?” you questioned him, but did not wait for an answer. “Only two. And you wanna know their names?”
“Please don’t kick me when I’m already down,” he whispered, but you’ve had enough.
“They are Fletcher and Ashton. They are you, Ash. I might have had a few flings and one night stands, and sure, I went on a few dates with guys. But it was only ever you I had a real thing with. It was only you who was ever good enough for me.”
“Then why did you even go on those dates if you didn’t want anything from them?” the question left Ashton before he could stop himself, and you could see him flinch when he realized what he’d said.
“I wanted to know how I felt about other people. I wanted to give myself a chance, see how we could work out. You know – if you never try, you’ll never know,” you shrugged a little while reaching for his hand, slowly interlocking your fingers with his. “And I– I think I wanted to know how you would react.”
“Remember the hole in the wall?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, and you needed to stifle a laugh.
“I was always waiting for you to show up during your dates,” you confessed, squeezing his hand in yours. “You know, just crash them. I wanted you to crash them. I know it took me a long time to let you in…”
“Well, half the time you were mad at me,” he said, leaning closer and resting his forehead against yours. “For one reason, or the other.”
“And in the other half I desperately wanted you to kiss me,” you finished, nuzzling your nose to his.
“You know I would have done it in a second,” he breathed. “I wanted to walk up to every single one of those guys and tell them that you’re… that you’re…”
“Come on,” you whispered, licking your lips. “Say it.”
“Mine.”
“Don’t think I was never asked on dates at my job or at school,” you gazed at him while saying the next part. “I was, numerous times. You know what I say to them when they call me pretty? Thank you, my boyfriend thinks so too. Or when they invite me for coffee? Thanks, but Ash is already bringing me some. And when they don’t want to let it go, I say: trust me, you do not want to meet him.”
“Are you really saying those things?” he asked you, and you nodded.
“I’m also implying that I’m having the best sex of my life, and I don’t plan on giving up on that,” you finished with a smile.
A moment later Ashton started laughing – it was his first real laugh of the night, and he hid his face, trying to stifle his giggles. It was the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Suddenly the night wasn’t that dark, but instead everything seemed to start to glow a little bit. It was Ashton’s smile, shining through the blacks, dark blues and grays of the night, warming up the chilling air around you, shifting everything back to your usual teasing, but loving normal, the one you’ve built up together.
“I love your smile,” you whispered when he finally looked back at you, still trying to catch his breath. “I know I’ve always told you that you should wipe that grin off of your face, but god, I’m happy you never did. I just… there are so many things I just love about you that I’ve thought I hated before. Like your snake tattoo, or your loud car and obnoxious sunglasses… your terrible jokes and sexual innuendos, and how you never fail to say them at the worst times… I love your stupid red hair, and…”
“My hair is not stupid,” Ash mumbled, a smile still playing at the corner of his mouth.
“No,” you shook your head, reaching once again for him to brush your fingers through his red locks. “No, it’s not.”
Ash nuzzled closer, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the caresses and light tugs on his hair, making a small noise that almost sounded like purring. He turned his head, brushing his lips against your wrist as you wrapped a curl around your finger, pushing it behind his ear, stroking your hand down his cheek and jaw. Hazel eyes followed the movement of your fingers until you ran your thumb over his chin, and his gaze finally found yours.
“Can I kiss you?” you asked him softly, pulling back a little to see his face.
“Are you asking for permission?” there was another small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and a slight blush coloured his cheeks.
“Just checking if you are in the right headspace,” you returned his smile, and he nodded shortly.
“I would love that.”
Without a second thought you leaned forward, one of your hands sliding up the back of his neck and into his hair, the other one cradling his jaw, tilting his head a little to the side. His breath was hot on your face as you moved closer, cheeks and noses brushing, lips slowly pressing against each other – one soft, the other slightly chapped. You kissed his bottom lip, moving to the top, nuzzling closer and closer, until he opened his mouth and let you kiss him deeper, brushing his tongue against yours as you both tasted the other. Ash made a needy little sound as you nipped on his lips and kissed his chin, his jaw, brushing against his cheek as you nudged your nose against the soft skin behind his ear.
“I chose you, Ashton. I’ve been choosing you every single day since that night on the beach, and I’ll do it as long as you let me. I’m freakin’ in love with you if that hasn't been clear before,” you breathed softly, kissing the shell of his ear. “You’ve been on my mind for the last 8 years, and if that’s not love, then you have to find a better word for me, because I’m failing here, and you know I’m good with words. But you just have this effect on you where I completely lose my sanity, and I would gladly give up on it forever, if it meant I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Ash reached for you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you out of your chair, and sitting you on his lap. His hand rested on your thigh, keeping you close to his body, as his fingers ran through your hair, guiding your face to his again. It was his turn to kiss you, and he started with the softest of touches, just to feel each other’s breath on your lips, the warmness of the other’s skin, the shiver running through you when you’ve finally lost your patience. Noses and lips pushed together, and he kissed you deeply, tongue brushing against yours as you were holding onto his shoulders. His scent clouded your mind, his touch burnt your skin, and you never wanted this moment to end.
“I love you,” Ash pulled away just enough to brush his lips against yours as he spoke. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
You pressed another kiss on his temple, cuddling closer in his lap to feel as much of his skin as you could. His arms wrapped around you more strongly, and he rested his head on your shoulder, pushing his face into your neck. For a few minutes you’ve stayed like this – slow caresses on waists and backs, fingers brushing over hair and tattoos, lips leaving small kisses wherever they could.
“Come on,” you ran your thumb over Ashton’s cheek. “I think it’s time we go back to bed.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to keep you away from your studying,” he started apologizing, but you shook your head, smiling at him.
“Screw exams. You’ll always be my first priority,” you tugged a little on his hair, tilting his head up towards you. “How does that sound to you?”
“Like something I’ve always wanted from you,” Ash returned your smile, then reached for your hand to kiss your knuckles. “Thank you, beautiful.”
You climbed down from his lap and reached for him to pull him up from the chair. You made our way back to the bedroom where the sheets were freshly changed and the pillows fluffed up just as Ashton liked it. He hesitated for a moment – the nightmare was still fresh in his mind, and even after you’ve talked through everything, he was still a little bit shaken from it.
“It’s alright,” you leaned against his side, pressing a kiss on the tattoo on his arm. “I’m here now.”
“I’m– scared to fall back to sleep,” he admitted, then sighed deeply. “It’s stupid, I know.”
“No, Ash. It’s perfectly normal,” you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Don’t ever feel ashamed, especially not because of your dreams. You’re human, it’s okay to fall sometimes. I’ll always be here to pick you up.”
“How did I get so lucky?” he turned to you, gathering you in his arms for a hug, resting his head on top of yours.
“Must have been that lucky charm of yours,” you answered with a smile, feeling the ring resting between your bodies.
“You are my lucky charm,” Ashton whispered, brushing the hair back from your face.
“Well, then you should definitely hold onto me.”
He huffed at you with a smile, shaking his head. You pulled him down on the bed, both of you getting comfortable under the blankets – Ash scooted as close to you as he could, nuzzling his face between your head and shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, letting him rest his weight on you, running your fingers through his hair.
“You smell so good,” he mumbled against your skin, pushing his nose to your pulse point. “Am I not too heavy?”
“You’re perfect where you are,” you continued brushing your fingers over his curls, skimming them over the back of his neck, down his shoulders, then back up again. “How are you feeling?”
“Like maybe I will be able to fall asleep,” he breathed, then reached for the ring hanging from your neck. “Is it okay if I stay like this?”
“Your peace of mind is worth every numb limb and hours spent awake,” you kissed his forehead, then the hand holding onto the ring. “You would do the same for me. And just so you know, you make an excellent pillow.”
“You too,” he closed his eyes, resting his hand back on your side, cuddling close. “Will you… will you hold my hand? Please?”
Without another word you slid your fingers against his, interlocking them. He squeezed your hand in return, letting out one last sigh as he slowly let go of all the tension that kept him awake. His body melted against yours, muscles relaxing as his breathing evened out, and in a few minutes all you could feel was his light snoring tickling your neck. You brushed your fingers through his hair again, pressing one last goodnight kiss on his forehead before resting back against your pillows.
Ashton slept soundly in your arms, head resting on your shoulder, arm thrown over your waist, fingers interlocked on the bed. He fit perfectly against you, his weight all the comfort you needed in your life. You would have stayed up all night just to make sure he had no more nightmares, but his soft sleepy sounds slowly lulled you to sleep too. The last thing you remembered was his lips brushing against your neck as he shuffled in his sleep, and you fell asleep with a smile on your face. You knew for sure he was your forever – and you planned on reminding him of that every single day for the rest of your lives. Even if it meant chasing away his nightmares every night. Because he was worth it.
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littledrummeraussie · 1 year ago
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I have an older fic that I have never posted... probably doesn't make sense without the actual story which is definitely not written... but I was wondering if anyone would be interested?
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littledrummeraussie · 2 years ago
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🍒 🍑 🍍 🍇- Jex (sadistmichael) 🤍
🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)
Oh, I really love the poly relationship in All The Things We Dream About - the love for each other, the teasing, how they care, the sexual tension. And really, just how the three of them all have a different relationship with each other, and it just completes the whole three way thing perfectly.
I also really love annoying, himbo/badboy guy and sunshine yet still grumpy girl. Or a real deep love cause I'm a romantic.
🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?
My brain honestly broke over this question LOL
🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?
I really like apocalypse, soulmates, mafia, boss/CEO and art related AUs. I'm a sucker for those, really.
I don't care much about vampires, but I am obsessed with @suchalonelysunflower Sunny's work Looks Red, Tastes Blue. I think I give all kinds of AUs a chance, I cannot recall if I have beef with any.
🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?
Let's turn this around a bit: I wanna write a million fics about my favourite couples: Getaway, my badboy!Ashton (A Permanent Chace) and Mr Maffia Man - Ps. Still Care About You. I love the different dynamics for different reasons and I just wanna bask in my comfort characters and feelings all the time.
Thank you Jex @sadistmichael 🥰🥰
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littledrummeraussie · 1 year ago
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saw someone on twitter with a badboy mechanic Luke idea and it literally sounded like my Ashron idea I've been keeping in my heart since 2019 ��😅😅
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littledrummeraussie · 2 years ago
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🍌🍏
🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?
Pretty sure it's this one:
“Don’t hog the blankets,” you poked his side, and Ash laughed again, pushing your hand away. “Good night, Cardinal.”
“Is that a joke on my hair?”
“You tell me,” you winked at him, and he leaned back to give you another kiss.
“Good night, you monster.”
Also, basically the whole of Daddy Grinch. All of those things they say, well... poor Levi. 😅
🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?
I definitely overuse "..."
And the first kiss trope. The badboy trope. Just anything that describes how massive as fuck Ashton is. Did I miss something? LOL
Thank you Sly ❤️
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littledrummeraussie · 2 years ago
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Hey! I absolutely love your writings. You're so talented! Could you maybe write something that covers the topic ''friends to lovers/slow burn''? Thank you!
Thank you so much sweetie 🥰❤️ it's definitely in my long-term plans.
Like badboy!mechanic!Ashton and his girl falling in love... or the so-called Midnight couple where they are both in the band... or the fake relationship-quarantine extravaganza... just to mention a few.
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littledrummeraussie · 2 years ago
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🌹🌹🌹
Oh, shall I do 3 as well?
1.
"I don't care, you're the boss. You can cancel on them. It's a Saturday - just for once be my boyfriend and not Mr. Big Scary Mafiaboss, and stay."
2.
"Let's go back." "Where?" "San Francisco. Let's make new memories."
3.
Suddenly he bolted up, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and taking lungful of air, making himself dizzy in the process. You shifted closer, climbing between his legs, and wrapped your arms around his trembling body. You held him close, running your fingers over his back, murmuring soft words into his ear as he buried his face in your neck, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart. “I’m here, Ash, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He locked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, never loosening his grip on you. You ran your hand up to his shoulder, lightly massaging his tense muscles, caressing his neck, brushing your fingers over his hair. His skin was cold and sweaty, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His breathing was slowing, and you moved your head to press a small kiss on his temple. He tensed for a second, but then melted into your arms once again.
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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18 & 32 😌💕
hello my lovely Sunny ❤️
18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?
Oh god... I honestly don’t want any of them to go unwritten 😭 but I’m honestly scared that I’ll never be able to really explore my poly!Cashton fic, all the thing we dream about.
32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?
1. knitted sweater for two
”He’s really nice, yeah,” I shrugged, trying to not show how disappointed I was now that Ashton left. ”But I’m not sure I’m ready for something new.”
”Is that what you’ve told him when he had his tongue down your throat?”
2. tell me all the things that you couldn’t before (unpublished)
”Good night, Cardinal.”
”Is that a joke on my hair?”
”You tell me,”
3. at christmas all the roads lead home
“Stop staring at my ass,” Ashton groaned as he crouched in front of the fireplace, your giggles making him blush. “It’s hard enough to focus like this.”
“I’ve thought you were hard enough,” you teased him, wrapping your arms around his back and hooking your chin over his shoulder. “And I like staring at your ass, just sayin’…”
“Do you have permission to do that?” he quirked an eyebrow at you as he looked back, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“I do have a marriage certificate tucked away with your signature on it,” you tapped your lips with a finger, grinning. “Sure that counts.”
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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B F G O! :) please
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? 
I wish, lol :) No, everything is fiction. But the feelings are all real.
Though craving something sweeter definitely got inspired by the fact that we visited an art exhibit. Just no sexy times in the bathroom...
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 
A moment later Ashton started laughing – it was his first real laugh of the night, and he hid his face, trying to stifle his giggles. It was the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Suddenly the night wasn’t that dark, but instead everything seemed to start to glow a little bit. It was Ashton’s smile, shining through the blacks, dark blues and greys of the night, warming up the chilling air around you, shifting everything back to your usual teasing, but loving normal, the one you’ve built up together.
“I love your smile,” you whispered when he finally looked back at you, still trying to catch his breath. “I know I’ve always told you that you should wipe that grin off of your face, but god, I’m happy you never did. I just… there are so many things I just love about you that I’ve thought I hated before. Like your snake tattoo, or your loud car and obnoxious sunglasses… your terrible jokes and sexual innuendos, and how you never fail to say them at the worst times… I love your stupid red hair, and…”
“My hair is not stupid,” Ash mumbled, a smile still playing at the corner of his mouth.
“No,” you shook your head, reaching once again for him to brush your fingers through his red locks. “No, it’s not.”
Ash nuzzled closer, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the caresses and light tugs on his hair, making a small noise that almost sounded like purring. He turned his head, brushing his lips against your wrist as you wrapped a curl around your finger, pushing it behind his ear, stroking your hand down his cheek and jaw. Hazel eyes followed the movement of your fingers until you ran your thumb over his chin, and his gaze finally found yours.
“Can I kiss you?” you asked him softly, pulling back a little to see his face.
“Are you asking for permission?” there was another small smile tugging at corner of his mouth, and a slight blush coloured his cheeks.
“Just checking if you are in the right headspace,” you returned his smile, and he nodded shortly.
“I would love that.”
 I know it’s not just dialogue - but this scene is really dear to my heart. It’s a later part of my badboy mechanic!Ashton fic, one where they are together for a while now and he struggles a little with their relationship. It takes them a while to get to the point where they are honest about their feelings and what they want from the other, and Ashton is forever insecure, thinking the girl will leave him for someone else, that maybe he loves her more than she does him. But in this scene she really comes clean and makes sure he knows how much he means to her, even if previously it was stated otherwise. And I love the little consent at the end.
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? 
During brainstorming I definitely play around with the different scenes and how they should come after the others, if I have more ideas for one then I write it down and based on that go back to the previous scene. I have a lot of little snippets saved everywhere.
But I like writing from start to finish cause that’s the best way for me to reference back things I want to highlight for some reason.
But when we like talk about a series where every piece could be a stand-alone fic too then I can definitely start from the middle of the whole story. Just look at my poly!Cashton and photographer!Ash story. The beginning? Nowhere. The middle? You’ve already read it.
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters? 
One character is always set and fix, and that’s Ashton - from there it depends on where I throw him. If we go AU then as I set him as a character (an artist, a vigilante, a badboy, a single dad) it brings the base of the story, and then usually the plot runs away with me depending on the ideas that are coming to me.
If I stuck with Ashton as just Ashton then I’m trying to explore certain situations and usually those come first.
I think it really depends on what gets stuck in my head that day - my own ideas and fantasies or my need for a certain kind of Ashton content.
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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🌹
"You’re scaring everyone off."
"Good. Then my plan is working."
"Which is…?"
"To keep you all to myself."
"…Irwin, your hands… that’s not my hips…"
"Oh, I know…" *smirks*
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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"I'm looking for Calum Hood."
Cal comes, trying to clean his hand with a rag.
"That's me," reaches out to shake his hand. "And you are?"
Shakes his hand, a grin.
"Your new mechanic."
"Do you have a name, tough guy?" Mikey shouts at him from somewhere from the garage and Luke just laughs.
He smiles, never missing a beat.
"Just call me Fletcher."
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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24 & 25! 😘
24. favorite scene you’ve ever written
It’s something I haven’t posted yet, and I’m not sure when it will be posted - it’s from a story called A Permanent Chase, and it’s basically a post-story scene where Ashton has a nightmare and reader comforts him.
A snippet:
He was no stranger to nightmares – when he was exhausted or just had a bad day, he would go to bed early, resting his head on your stomach, hugging your body close to him like a pillow, and that usually did the trick. He slept soundly and without interruption. But sometimes he was just so lost in his own head that he forgot about it all, not caring about the dreams sneaking into his sleepy mind, and he usually woke with a start in the middle of the night. He would curl his body around yours, telling you that he’s okay, he just had a bad dream, he will fall back to sleep soon – he only ever asked you to hold his hand during these moments.
But tonight was different, Ashton never had a nightmare like this, one that physically shook him. He was fighting so hard to wake up, but nothing seemed to work. You dropped onto the mattress, climbing closer, and grabbed him by his shoulders, shaking him with all the strength that you had.
”Ashton! Ashton, wake up! Ash! Wake up!”
Suddenly he bolted up, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and taking lungful of air, making himself dizzy in the process. You shifted closer, climbing between his legs, and wrapped your arms around his trembling body. You held him close, running your fingers over his back, murmuring soft words into his ear as he buried his face in your neck, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart.
”I’m here, Ash, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
He locked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, never loosening his grip on you. You ran your hand up to his shoulder, lightly massaging his tense muscles, caressing his neck, brushing your fingers over his hair. His skin was cold and sweaty, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His breathing was slowing, and you moved your head to press a small kiss on his temple. He tensed for a second, but then melted into your arms once again.
”It’s alright,” you whispered, still stroking the red locks at the back of his head. ”It’s over. It was just a dream, it’s over. I’m here. You’re awake. It’s okay.”
His breath was hot on your neck as he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his face back into your skin. His muscles were slowly relaxing, but he was still tense and sweaty, and a shiver ran through his body. He tried to burrow closer to get more of your warmth, and you let him stay in your arms like this for a few more minutes. When you could feel he was a bit more relaxed, you pulled back a little, lifting his head up to look at you. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and it took him a few seconds to get out of his daze.
25. favorite line you’ve ever written
It changes depending on my mood, but I love this one from love your soul and your aching bones:
“If you keep that up, coffee won’t be the only thing I’m gonna spill on us,” he laughed around another moan, and you stifled your own giggles against his back.
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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question numbers 8, 40, and 47! x
8. what time are you most productive? 
During work hours... I swear to you, that’s when most of my ideas come. But I usually write between 6-10/11PM if I catch the flow of the story. And when I have the time, definitely on my Saturdays/Sundays.
40. which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series 
- the soulmate au I’m working on. it’s a soulmate au, cOME ON! WE LOVE THAT!
- definitely, DEFINITELY PERMANENT CHASE. it’s badboy-ish Ashton working as a mechanic in Sydney with the guys and he is annoying but so loveable and problematic but he is head over heals for reader and they have a slow burn romance for YEARS
I can just see the opening scene with Meet You There playing in the background as he arrives with his red Mustang to Cal’s garage.
47. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? 
as answered previously: T O O    M U C H
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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago
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1, 17, 30 ♥️
1. things that inspire you
Pictures, music, random prompts, interviews and previously read books and fanfictions. I also love finding a trope that I enjoy and build a whole world around it.
17. favorite AU to write 
I love things that focus on art, but it’s not music - so any kind of artist AU.
And I’m a sucker for the badboy trope - I love a snarky, annoying, secretly-wants-to-be-loved guy who has a slow burn romance with the other character. (The previously mentioned A Permanent Chase is basically that.)
But really, any time I can actually build my own little world - then you have lost me.
30. hardest part of writing
The first 3 or 4 pharagraphs. I’m not joking. They set the story and the mood, and if they don’t sound the way I want them to, then I’m willing to spend 3 days working on just that. After that it’s a lot easier to get into things, cause the stories like to flow if I have them built up in my mind.
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littledrummeraussie · 2 years ago
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🌹🌹🌹!!!
Well...
1.
Of course, it was Valentine's day. He just thought he was so lost in the girl that he found himself focusing on flowers everywhere.
2.
"Did last night really happen? Did I really get lucky with the drummer of this hot new band?"
"Oh, shut up!"
3.
Text: Crashed at your place. No hot water at home. Nor hot boyfriend.
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